AMA: Ask the Spook

[Spook of the lost]

well that's a tough question to answer.
I'm hyper sensitive to anything that doesn't sound like it's working correctly, to the point that I go out of my way to try and correct the problem.

however if there's one sound I really really dislike it's high pitched squeals and barks and such.
gives me headaches and really disorients me.

see I have really really sensitive hearing, I can pick out and identify a problem by sound alone, everything from coil whine to low vibrations (just the door slamming downstairs is enough to startle me awake.)
for me bursts of loud high pitched sound is like flashing a bright light in someone's face.

[Juneberry]

I'm hyper sensitive to sounds too, but not nearly in a way similar to yours. Have you always been able to pick out and identify problems just through their sounds? :O I wish I could do that!

[Spook of the lost]

honestly it's more trained.

I've always been hypersensative due to something that happened 12 years ago.

but I ended up turning it into something useful with training as part of my self recovery from it.

since I was sensitive to sounds and vibrations anyway I started noticing patterns when working on things and with time learned to tell the differences between a faulty hdd motor and a jammed mechanism.

or an engine starting to become out of sequence and a fuel pump not feeding enough fuel, for a more obvious one.

on the down side, I can hear electricity in the house wires and the buzz of certain kinds of lamps like Florescent bulbs.

it's sort of a comfort now though given how much I use technology in my daily life and how ingrained it is.

that hum in the wall tells me the world's still here and nothing has happened, the lights will still work, my phone will still charge etc.

Kind of silly I know.

[Juneberry]

I hear the buzz of certain types of lamps and 'silent' air cleaners, but I don't think I could ever tell as many things apart as you can! May I ask what happened twelve years ago? Whatever it was, I'm proud of you for turning what was a negative into a positive mostly~

[Spook of the lost]

I'm fine to talk about it now because I've overcome most of it, fair warning though, this is really really dark, but completely true, as unfortunate as it was.

I just realized, it was 22 years ago, not 12... man, that really was a long time ago.

well to start with, I was raised by my grandparents on my mothers side, I still care for them deeply and honestly I don't know what I'd do If I lost either of them.

but when I was four my real parents decided to take off with me and travel across the country suddenly, my sister was three at the time and I'd not really known about her before this.

unfortunately my father was the latest in a family of abusive monsters, his father was just as bad as he was, his mother was the police dispatcher for the area I was taken to so help more often then not went unanswered.

I spent a year locked in a room, with my sister. Let out maybe once in a while when my mother could chance it and my father wasn't home.
Bars on the windows, spoilt food slipped under the door, daily beatings... It was terrible.

my sister couldn't read or speak, at all, so I tried to teach her what I'd learned from my grandparents before what i consider my abduction, I was reading and speaking at a really young age.

every night my father would go outside and bang on the windows terrifying us.

when my mother tried to stop him, he'd hit her, she's still missing teeth.

anyway it finally ended roughly a year after, I'd memorized the home phone number my grandparents had (I personally have this number to this day btw, knowing it literally saved me), I called them, tried to tell them what was going on, it was recorded on tape and used in a court case later so they could get custody of me.
I insisted over the phone that they had to rescue my sister as well.

unfortunately I was beaten for information after I was caught with the phone but I refused to give in.

his father wasn't much better, the man was mentally unstable.

finally I was rescued after one state pushed the other to have the trial in their jurisdiction, I still remember the day I was taken back home.

despite everything that happened I refused to be considered disabled, I live with PTSD, though I've learned to manage it with Meditation, however this also has raised my senses due to living in fear, listening for any sound changes for that year , trying to avoid what happened.

I managed to protect my sister as much as I could at the time, he was worse to her than me because she wasn't his daughter.

it was awful, but it helped shape who I am, I refuse to become like him, and his father before him, I'm always studying, trying to improve myself, because I have to be better, for those that come after me.

I know this was really dark and very upsetting for anyone who reads it but unfortunately my case was light having only gone on for about a year, I've learned later that cases like mine are very common where i was taken, where his family grew up. It's sickening but I cannot do anything about it anyway but try to move on.

[Juneberry]

That's horrible what happened to you, but I'm super proud of you. You know why? You're fighting tooth and nail to stay positive, you tried to take care of a sister you didn't even know you had yet, and you use the experience to motivate you. It's a dark, saddening story... But with a positive twist, in my opinion. Just don't forget it's okay to give in to the pain as long as you do it in a safe way, such as writing about it or doing something else. It's okay to cry- just no hurting yourself on purpose.

As for my next question... Hm... I know!
What have you studied recently to help your goal of self-improvement?

[Spook of the lost]

honestly?

mostly I've been focusing on crafting stuff, one of the things that's been a bit frustrating for me the past year or so is how much society just throws away.

so I've been trying to learn as many crafting, repair, and restoration type skills as I can, focusing on improving myself by learning how to escape the reliance on what to me seems to be a world that's heading for destruction.

the funny part is, these skills used to be common, but it seems society focuses on learning only what you need and relying on paying others for the rest.

I write, I sing, I work on maintaining a kind of physical equilibrium, even if I'm not in ideal shape physically.
but the biggest thing I work on for self improvement is my mind.

most recently the biggest leap I've made is understanding how to work microchips into circuits to reduce complexity of stuff.
I continue to work on algebra, which I've struggled with most of my life.
I've been working on perfecting the australian crawl so I can swim faster.

and I recently changed my vehicle's oil my self for the first time rather than paying a shop.

maybe a brief look at my typical day might help?

I usually get up around 8am.
I wake up, check my phone for interesting news articles, stuff like new galaxies discovered, new areas of physics uncovered, breakthroughs in technologies.
Around this time I usually jot down ideas as well in a book I keep on my desk.

around 9 I start breakfast, I deploy a small drone I have to run it's program of flying over the solar panels on the house and taking pictures to check for any damage or potential problems.

after breakfast I get ready for work, work 10 hours, come home, watch TV for a couple hours, repeat.

on my days off I mostly spend that work time reading, making needed repairs around the house, researching new stuff, doing martial arts training, running errands ect. sometimes when I have time I tinker with various projects and work on stories, I only get 3 days a week for non work stuff so I try to make it count.
I actually have some aeroponics I take care of in the basement, but it's mostly automated so I check it weekly.
same with the garden outside.

also, I work in a tech support call center job.

so between calls I do a lot of research and design stuff on paper.

It may or may not surprise you to learn I'm a fan of Freidrich Neitzche.
I don't agree with everything, but the concept of the superhuman or Ubermensch being someone who has attained a greater status and then uses that to help lift others to the same level is one I can agree with, so I work on it constantly never limiting myself to any one field of study or research.

I've found that I'm better for it as well because so many concepts actually cross over into other fields.

perfection is impossible but I can at least work to become the best version of me, that's what I think personally.

ideally I'd like to leave earth one day but with my eyesight and the way my allergies work it may not be possible, but I still work towards that as my end goal, and for that a person needs to be skilled, clever, and able to do anything in a pinch.

[Juneberry]

What's a skill you want to learn for self-improvement but haven't been able yet?

[Spook of the lost]

that's a good question actually.

honestly it's less for self improvement and more out of curiosity and interest but I've been wanting to learn smithing for a while.

I know how to make complex stuff out of already complete materials and components but I've always thought it would be cool to learn how to refine and shape raw metals and ores into something useful.

unfortunately I just do not have the time, nor the space to do so properly.

for specific self improvement though, well languages are one aspect I'm currently working on, specifically root languages.

however I've found that several are nearly impossible for me to learn right now and do not make any sense, if I could learn more root languages besides german and latin I could expand my ability to communicate that much more, which would be self improvement.

those would be the two main one's I want to pick up to become a greater version of myself, because the more people I can communicate with, the more I can help and teach to become better versions of themselves, and with more crafting skills going from base materials to finished devices well... the world could end and I'd probably just shrug off the majority of it as merely another challenge to overcome, I'd say that's a huge step forward.

[Juneberry]

Do you consider yourself an optimist, pessimist, idealist or realist?